In a podcast, Vice President Kamala Harris shared her experiences navigating the complexities of stepparenting, particularly her relationship with her husband Doug Emhoff’s children, Ella and Cole. Drawing from her own childhood as the daughter of divorced parents, Harris emphasized the importance of fostering healthy relationships within blended families.
Harris reflected on her upbringing, stating, “My parents were divorced when I was 5. When Doug and I started dating, his parents were married for 60 years. I had to explain to him what it is like to be a child of divorced parents.” This background informed her approach to becoming a stepmother. She highlighted the need for intentionality in building relationships, particularly when children are involved.
“I was very intentional about waiting to know that this is a real relationship before I got to know the children. And I love them because they are my children,” she said. This mindset allowed Harris to establish a foundation of trust and affection with Ella and Cole before becoming more involved in their lives.
Relationships With Ex-Spouses
An essential part of successful co-parenting is maintaining a respectful relationship with the children’s other parent. Harris expressed her commitment to fostering a positive dynamic with Doug’s ex-wife, Kerstin Emhoff. She remarked, “We teach our kids how to drive, we sit down with our children with their homework, but we should actually role-model how to develop emotionally healthy relationships. We have to be very intentional about it.”
While such relationships can be challenging, Harris believes that mutual respect and open communication are crucial for the well-being of the children.
As Harris built her relationship with Ella and Cole, she remained sensitive to their feelings about their mother. To ensure they felt secure and did not perceive their growing bond with her as a betrayal, she often posed thoughtful questions. “I knew that… so I used to ask them, ‘How does your mother do it… show me?'” This approach not only acknowledged their loyalty but also allowed her to learn from their experiences.
In closing, Harris noted the importance of love and connection in blended families. “I grew up with the family by blood, and this is the family I love. Younger people understand this. It’s on you to make a decision on the family you love,” she concluded.
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