As the world celebrates International Men’s Day on November 19, the occasion sets the stage for discussions that go beyond just celebrating men, talking about their mental health, or their contributions and achievements across the globe.
With patriarchy in the backdrop, the most harm that is done due to most of the societal norms is largely directed towards the men in our society. One of the most glorified concepts that is almost always hidden in plain sight is the concept of toxic masculinity that impacts men themselves more than it will ever impact the women in the society.
Toxic Masculinity: Glorified Since Ages
Having grown up in a society that glorifies toxic men, their dominating and overpowering behaviours, we have often witnessed toxic masculinity in the form of fictional characters, for instance, Ross Geller from the popular TV sitcom Friends and the violent character of Nate in the fan favourite series Euphoria or some of the most loved Bollywood characters like Kabir Singh; however, more often than not, we fail to recognise toxic masculinity in our real lives.
In the 1990s and early 2000s, the phrase “toxic masculinity” was not well known. However, it has been widely used in conversations about males and gender since about 2015. In the present day scenario, toxic masculinity has grown to become an avoidable subject. While even though it has been existing since the days that men used to go for battles, it has now surfaced as the root cause for most problematic behaviours that men either display or have to face with.
While there is not one particular behaviour attributed to toxic masculinity, in scholarly and media discourse, the term “toxic masculinity” is employed to describe the socially damaging facets of hegemonic masculinity, including homophobia, misogyny, and violent dominance.
These characteristics are deemed “toxic” in part because they encourage violence, such as domestic abuse and sexual assault. The adage “boys will be boys” about bullying and aggression is one example of how socialization of boys can legitimize violence. Therefore, toxic masculinity refers to the roles, actions, and characteristics deemed suitable for boys and men in a certain society are referred to as “masculinity.” To put it succinctly, masculinity is the expectation that society places on men.
There have been severe implications of these kinds of behaviors displayed by men on women; however, with the recent openness that the world has transitioned towards and with the evolving time, this toxic masculinity has taken a newer turn. With the pre-existing standard set by society for men, it has now drastically curbed a man’s freedom to openly express his emotions.
Society’s Role In Toxic Masculinity
How a man should behave is a social norm that has boxed the lives of various men who wish to be different from the rest, those who believe in expressing, understanding, and maybe even empowering the others around them.
Expecting a man to be only tough, anti-feminine, and have the most power has been recognised as the core reason for the deteriorating mental health among the men. A lot of the men today fear being different from what society expects them to be because of the way others might perceive them and treat them. Men who enjoy make-up or dance as a form of self-expression are often bullied into doing what the social norm expects them to do, which in turn deprives them of their freedom of expression, leading them to feel unsatisfied or, in most cases, even unhappy.
What Makes For Toxic Masculinity?
Toxic masculinity, however, is not limited to that. Even when a person is hurt or experiencing emotional difficulties, toxic masculinity opposes mental and physical medical assistance. More bodily harm can result from pushing oneself to work or exercise while ignoring pain.
In addition to rigorous independence, men are pushed to adopt an unhealthy lifestyle. Men participate in unsafe activities, eat poorly, and play harmful sports. Men are also trained to avoid asking for assistance because it may be interpreted as a sign of weakness and lead to mockery.
Perhaps the most talked-about poisonous qualities are entitlement and controlling tendencies. According to macho programming, males should control their social, professional, and sexual lives by repressing anyone who does not share their views and by requesting unmerited respect and allegiance. There may be major personal, professional, and legal repercussions from the ensuing interpersonal and social strife, which may include bullying of minority groups.
It Can be Better!
Nonetheless, it is time to change these circumstances and help men feel better, and while this might not be very easy, every change begins with small steps. We can begin by helping the men in your lives accept their emotions, the ones that are not associated with anger or dominance, and allow them to express themselves freely instead of letting them shut themselves down.
