A recent research has provided significant findings regarding the emotional burden that narcissists feel when confronted with social exclusion. In contrast to the popular stereotype that narcissists are too self-centered to be concerned about others’ views, the study points out that narcissists don’t just perceive themselves as getting ostracized more frequently than others, but they also experience extreme emotional pain, also known as “social pain.” The study, conducted in the ‘Journal of Personality and Social Psychology’, had over 77,000 participants and looked into both laboratory experiments and everyday situations.
Important Findings of the Research
- Higher Perceptions of Ostracism: Narcissists—particularly those with “grandiose narcissism,” characterized by arrogance and an ongoing need for admiration—feel excluded more often than people with lower narcissistic tendencies. They also behave in a way that is likely to result in social exclusion, such as aggression and arrogance.
- Strong Emotional Responses: When rejected, narcissists register greater anger, shame, and distress than their non-narcissistic counterparts. This emotional response is enhanced in those with “grandiose narcissism,” who have difficulty accepting social rejection on account of their exaggerated sense of self and hypersensitivity to social signals.
- The Role of Sensitivity: Another key finding of the research is that narcissists are extremely sensitive to perceived social signals. This implies that they can feel excluded even when exclusion is not intended. For example, they might take a glance or a lack of interaction on social media as a sign of rejection, even if others’ behavior is not meant to exclude them.
- The Vicious Cycle of Narcissism and Ostracism: The research identified a cycle of relationship between ostracism and narcissism. Narcissists who become ostracized tend to respond by displaying more pronounced narcissistic behaviors, which might further lead to their isolation. This cycle fuels a pattern of exclusion, and this further strengthens their narcissistic behaviors.
The Psychological Impact of Exclusion
Narcissists who experience social rejection also tend to view themselves as victims, and this sense of being a victim just reinforces their hostile behavior. This makes them even more disturbing in social circles, thus promoting more social isolation. As Christiane Büttner, the study’s lead author, explains, this cycle is not only harmful in the short term but can also lead to the long-term formation of narcissistic tendencies, increasing the chances that they will continue to be socially excluded in the future.
The research also noted how the behavior of narcissists impacts their interactions with other people. Narcissists who have a “rivalry” orientation, where they consider others as competition and are aggressive in nature, are more likely to be rejected than those with a “narcissistic admiration” orientation, who aspire to be admired and gain status through social engagement. This is particularly true in work environments, where the erratic behaviors of narcissists can test professional relationships.
The study suggests that narcissism and ostracism often go hand in hand, creating a negative feedback loop. However, addressing narcissistic behaviors early on, especially during childhood, can prevent the intensification of these traits over time.