A man named Vishal has stirred up a conversation on social media after revealing his plans to marry his cousin, a decision that initially shocked many users. However, as he clarified his ethnolinguistic identity, explaining that he hails from Maharashtra, the reactions turned less surprised. The incident highlighted the significance of cultural context in matchmaking practices, particularly in the state of Maharashtra, where cousin marriages within the maternal side of the family are not unusual.
Vishal’s post began as an ordinary life update about his Mama-Mami (maternal uncle and aunt) visiting his home to discuss a potential marriage.
Mama-Mami is coming home today, rishte ki baat chalegi ab fir se ffs
— 101 gram 🇩🇪 (@VishaI_18) December 27, 2024
However, the phrasing of his statement raised eyebrows.
Internet Reacts
A confused commenter, seeking clarity, asked if Vishal was planning to marry his aunt. Vishal’s casual response, “Ae vedya, with her daughter,” set the stage for a viral online conversation about cousin marriages.
Are ae vedya unki beti se
— 101 gram 🇩🇪 (@VishaI_18) December 27, 2024
The post quickly circulated across social media platforms, with many unfamiliar with the Marathi cultural norms expressing their surprise. However, a number of users, particularly those from Maharashtra or familiar with Marathi customs, explained that cousin marriages, especially with the maternal side, are not only common but culturally accepted.
One social media user, @AmayzingGuy, remarked, “It’s normal in Maharashtra (Marathi family) to marry only mama ki ladki as it’s not your gotra, it’s your mother’s side gotra.” Similarly, @RajmJangam added, “North [India] follows Gotra system. Maharashtra and South [India] follow Kula system. If the Kula of the boy and girl are different, then they are not brother and sister.”
Is it common in Mahrashtrian culture?
While his marriage plans seemed unusual to outsiders, Vishal clarified that he was following local culture in making his choice. He said that marrying his cousin was not a preference but a natural cultural norm for him and it felt appropriate in his circle of friends. He also mentioned that marrying his “Mama’s daughter” was not some distant or awkward connection but was part of the cultural fabric of his region.
Interestingly, Vishal points out that while cousin marriages are generally acceptable in Maharashtra, he wouldn’t have pursued marriage with the woman involved unless it was culturally acceptable. “Mama’s daughter is not a cousin,” he said, signaling the depth of his respect for cultural conventions.
Vishal explained why the very culture that sets these norms allows such acts in Maharashtra: “the system followed by Maharashtra people in respect to marriage, as practiced is Kula whereas Gotra is prevailing in North India.”.
The Gotra system operates on the basis of the paternal lineage and relates people to a particular sage or rishi, which makes marriage between the same gotra forbidden as it is equated to marrying a sibling. However, the Kula system, which exists in Maharashtra particularly in the Vidarbha region, is less concerned with the ties of the paternal lineage and leans instead towards wider family or clan relationships. In this system, marriages within the maternal line of the family, say with a cousin, are considered culturally acceptable because, in this system, it is not considered that a boy and girl belong to the same lineage.
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